Why did the female chicken not cross the road but watched football, drank beer and cursed like f*ck instead? Because she was acting like a cock.

Men are said to be from Mars and women- from Venus but the truth is that, there's no such thing as "THE woman" or "THE man". What we think of when we hear the term femininity, is, as you may guess, a generalisation which derives from superficial descriptions of the behaviour of some  women. More importantly- even these superficial descriptions are not a biological inevitability but rather a social line of behaviour, which has been programming us for a while now to be slim, or wear make up, go a few tons overboard with shopping, we're not necessarily "naturally" less competitive. In other words, women don't biologically have pigeon brains, they just act like they do. 

The inspiration for this article came after reading a story in an otherwise useless english gossip magazine, titled "Why I won't tell anyone the sex of my child". Confession about the ambition and free thinking of a mother in Sweden tells about her attempts to raise a child, not burdened by the social chains of the sexes- the kid is dressed in both blue and pink, the room is painted a neutral colour, the toys are varied. The kid is not addressed with pronouns, and until the moment they decide how to self-identify, who to sleep with and how to dress, they will be "sexless", or accordingto some- a hermaphrodite. Clearly, this is innovative. Such ideas provoke thoughts and criticism about what is biologically determined to be different in men and women, and what is socially formed?

Here, the subject forks. To me, at least, it is important to ask- is there such thing as genuine femininity or genuine masculinity? Of course, my idea here is clear that the social factor is undeniable, but the real question is, to what extent is that the case. Raise your hand if you're a woman with good sense of orientation, who drinks beer, knows what an off-side is (the rest of you, please figure it out, it's been too f*cking long!), who doesn't know what size clothes she wears, let alone where there are sales? Me! But, also- whose eyes sparkle when they see quality shoes, and who downloads TV shows every tuesday? Me again. In that line of thoughts, my partner asked me who I thought was the man in our relationship, and the answer was the same. Me. Here it becomes crystal clear that, even when we don't tick the box "feminin" but do what we like instead, that means that we tick the next box "masculine". This is how I ended up being the man in my relationship, because i am competitive, ambitious, dominant and pleasantly curvy, as carrot cakes are more of a priority than diets are. 


It is easy to escape traditional femininity and to play alongside the boys, to mock the female race for acting superficial, yet realising my own rigidity. It is practically impossible, however, while avoiding being feminine, to not be classified as masculine or, God forbid, butch. Ergo, people need to be able to work with such generalisations, in order to know how to treat the others. In other words, in our daily interactions, there is almost nothing left original, genuine, not predetermined, and our social reactions are almost entirely repetition of what we've heard by our parents, friends, teachers, neighbors... This is not our song that we gayly hum throughout our lives, rather it is a half-worn out tape in a smoky karaoke bar, that we apatheticaly sing a few out of tune notes to....

Yet, the only category that genuinely matters, is the one we place ourselves in. The people in our life, with a few exceptions, are there temporarily and it seems undeserved to take their opinions too seriously. Many tend to forget, the most important person in your life is you. As long aswe can look ourselves in the mirror every morning and with bleary eyes to smile to the person staring back at us, then any other frowns don't matter anymore.