Why did the polygamous hen cross the road? She wanted to have her cock and eat it too...

Love and relationships are a territory where you should make up your own rules. I personally support anyone's right to  choose their lifestyle- be it straight or gay, man, woman, transgender, monogamous, polygamous, poly-amorous, swinger. If you're happy with your partner, then that is all that is important.

I myself have danced all over the spectrum of possibilities. I wanted to be monogamous, get married and have children, when I was with my first boyfriend. My second partner and I had a different relationship, at which point I found  enjoyment and respect for the more open lifestyle. Third relationship, and my most serious one to this point, we explored different options, but when we broke up, he wanted children and marriage, and I wanted no children and just a commitment ceremony. Not even why we broke up. But I remember one night, a few months into that relationship, we were talking and I was ranting about my desire for freedom- while I loved him, to me there was no relation between what you feel for one person and whether or not you sleep with others as well. He wanted us to not see other people and I was generally OK with that, but wouldn't it be nice if opportunity presented itself and we were able to take it? Yet, I am suddenly in tears and I think only someone who has been of the polygamous mindset can understand the paradoxical beauty of monogamy. Here he is, a man who can choose to have sex with other women and still have the woman he comes home to, have his cake and eat it too, but all he wants is that one person, me. And I was playing the part of the reluctant bitch.

It was a moment of realisation, certainly. The biggest commitment has nothing to do with rings and promises. It comes with this strong desire within you to just see one person, even though you have a world out there, just waiting for you. To have the option and to choose to, rather than be forced to, decline it.

Perhaps I was genuinely converted that night. I've only just started a new relationship and about 10 days in, it is a record in my book, we randomly picked up the topic. What are we doing, where are we going, what do we call this? We had the conversation. My first reaction was to postpone it, to delay monogamy, to keep my options open, even though all I wanted was this one boy. But he called me up on it, and I got butterflies in my stomach when he suggested we were exclusive. The gorgeous man had a choice, yet he chose me.