Why did the chicken in a relationship cross the road? ...Duh.

You need time for yourself. 

Nobody's company is more valuable than your own. I meet many people, usually young, who get offended if their partner suggests time off. We're not talking about time off that means "we were on a break!" , we're talking about spending friday night each to their own. To be even more prosaic, I think the inspiration for this article partially found me at fuck o'clock in the morning, just as I was falling asleep, when Carrie & Big's argument came to mind- is it OK to spend 2 days off their marriage per week? I think it is. 

As I have previously recently stated, to me the most important thing in one's social life is to be comfortable in your own skin, to be self-sufficient. You then can enjoy your social interractions that much more because they are not a necessity, but a bonus. The next step up the ladder of the metaphorical internal satisfaction is self-sufficiency when you're with others. The free spirited young lady with a heart of a single promiscuous gal that I am, the thought of being monogamous or tied down in any way gives me an itch. (yes, an even more irritating one than the itch that comes with promiscuity, I know you thought about it too!) Luckily for both of us, in practice, being in a relationship with my current partner is easier than I had expected & I am convinced that this is in no small part due to mutual honesty about needs & expectations. We spent a lovely holiday, which meant 3 weeks this summer of 24/7 contact and given that we've only been together for a few months, that's a lot. We were happy to give each other space but I hear most couples have a hard time doing it. 

I wonder: why is it that we often get offended when instead we should embrace the possibility to spend time with ourself, to do what we want, to decompress, to be quiet, to be loud, to have our PMS undisturbed or to watch a game without the numbingly stupid question "So... what's an offside?"... 

To me, having my space is an absolute necessity. This is how I recharge my batteries, and if I don't manage to get my "alone" time, I get grumpy like most men do when they're hungry. My need for personal space doesn't change with my relationship status, I need the time to take care of myself & do my silly favourite things, and this is why it is called personal. It is not called personal only when we are single and it isn't a way to kill time because no-one will f*ck us, it is personal time for just you because this is the time to discover new interests, read, learn, develop.  Learning is not a privilege of the kids, it's an exploration that lasts a lifetime and, apart from the obvious advantages, it also means that it makes you an even more attractive person to be around.

You're the center of your world, this is the only way it can be, and in order for you to have the energy to be smiling during your day, you need to make sure you spoil yourself & smile to yourself first. 


R.